Wednesday 31 August 2011

Parents must have all answers

In the long run, for the children to trust their parents, the parents must first win the confidence of the children. One of the important steps in that is to have all the answers for their children's questions. There will be tough questions, embarrassing questions, questions in areas that we are not exposed to, new progresses in science, economics, geographies, civics, etc.

Irrespective of our knowledge in the area, we should have an answer that will continue to keep the bond with children. If we are not familiar with the area, we can always look it up in the world wide web and respond to the children. If it is embarrassing questions we should have the clear thinking on whether it is time for the child to learn the truth behind certain areas - is he/she of appropriate age to start learning these things.

A sure way of losing children's confidence is dismissing their questions with any kinds of answers like "Don't ask me all this, ask your teacher", "I don't know these things", "Ask Maths to your mother" or "Ask Science to your father", etc. Since the parents are the main support for the children long into the future, it is important that they be seen as role models.

For that, build confidence by giving as many answers as possible and keep the candle of creativity in the child burning bright. And for the rest "Please wait, while I look it up in the internet, so that I can also learn" would be a good way of reinforcing the feeling that they can come to the parents for any items / issues.

VRVD

Monday 29 August 2011

Education at home - with an anecdote

What is the role of education at home?

Now-a-days, many people think that education is done only in schools and colleges. Parents would love to just dispatch the children for this grand purpose of education at schools. Can the teachers / professors really complete the education of children? I think not.

Education starts at home, even before the child reaches age of attending school (which varies from 2.5 to 6 years, depending on the country in which the child is growing up). Children are mostly learning every minute that they are awake. Hence, education starts at home and continues with relatives (second most influence), friends, schools & colleges.

Recently during a discussion a parent was complaining that the school was not teaching maths properly because the boy could not do the specific portions as part of home-work. When asked whether the parent could not have taught him themselves, the retort was "Then the school will take credit for what I teach the child." Whoa! It is your child that needs to learn - if the specific method of teaching this particular aspect of Maths has not been grasped by child, don't you think the parent needs to add to it? For the sake of own child? God save the child! Or maybe the child will automatically at some point, by not depending on parents for learning!

Such episodes open our eyes as to how parents are viewing schools and education of their own children. In Tamil we could say "இப்படியும் சிலர்" (such people too exist).

VRVD

Thursday 25 August 2011

Uncles of Boy born in Rohini star will get ill effect is it?

One of the superstitions with respect to boy born in Rohini star is that the mother's brothers would have ill effects. Also the mitigation of ill-effect is supposed to be, by not looking at the boy directly. They see the son in a reflection of oil.

Now, let us get to the reason for this superstition. Kanha / Krishna killed his own uncle Kamsa for his bad deeds.

Can't we look at the moral of this story, rather than come to superstitious conclusions? In our culture the maternal uncles are placed in high pedestal and given lot of importance. The relationship is special. The moral to be learnt here is that any person should be willing to punish a person doing ill deeds against self or family, even if the person happens to be own maternal uncle. That is the moral that people should learn from the story of Krishna & Kamsa. Hope the superstition dies out some day... and sons born in Rohini star are boldly looked at by their maternal uncles...

And anyone born in any star be bold enough to punish even revered persons if the mistake is grave and against the self or family.

VRVD

Wednesday 24 August 2011

Out of reach - increases curiosity... kills the cat?

A small experiment we have done with our child has worked out well. We never took anything from their normal places & placed them higher, as the child grew. The child could reach all the items and curiosity is usually immediately satisfied. A careful eye on the child to ensure that things are not broken, etc., was always there & a firm loving disapproval in case of wrong actions (like hitting things with the item in hand) was enough for the child to learn what not to do.

Our computer, printer & wires were all strewn at ground level. After the first venture received a firm "No", the child did not go near that area at all. A glass top tea-table was our choice knowing we had a 1 and 1/2 year old - nothing hit on it or broken at all. Luckily this kind of treatment left a level of "satisfaction" for the child's curiosity. There is less urge to get somethings at all costs - as the child is assured that if required it will be provided. Needs will be provided - wants may or may not be provided.

Overall it has left our home like, just our home, instead of some homes where we see things go higher and higher as the child grows and is able to grab things...

Like I said in the beginning - it just worked out well in this case. We believe the character of the child and the models around them are also important on how such actions are taken forward as lessons, learning, experiences, prejudices, etc... But if curiosity is increased, does it change the character to increased wants, rebellious nature, etc? We don't have the answer... others should comment, I guess...

VRVD

Monday 15 August 2011

Hype of schools by the schools and parents


Here is the next attempt on one of our favorite subjects - ", the role of parents to children in first 5 years…" (discussed threadbare from my wife's ideas and experiences)
Parents pamper children during those first 5 years. Then they expect the school teachers and principal to introduce discipline, responsibility, respect, etc., while the kids already have prejudiced learning from parents, relatives and friends in their most amenable age – 0-5 years.

Next comes boasting on which school the children study in – it is X, Y or Z highly touted schools. They are hyped by parents and the school all the time.  Many of these schools pick the best of the lot and then do nothing much to improve them – they are already pretty good. Then they take the laurels of the students and attach it to themselves.

I think the creed should be “Ask not what the school’s name can do to help you, but ask what you can do to put your school’s name on the Education Map.”

We should encourage those schools that take any one - below average, average or above average and make them better students, better humans. That is more important for the future of India. Forget school name tags. Let teachers boost the creativity and dreams of the children rather than cut them by forcing them to do rote learning... India will automatically improve quickly in leaps and bounds.

VRVD