Living in Denial

The current generation of parents with children in school and colleges seem to have higher expectations of everybody and everything. The parents contend that their children must be the top scorers, the school must ensure they are the top scorers & the teachers must also have the same goal for the children.

If the top score is not achieved, then it is the school's fault or the teacher's fault. The child is not at fault & the parents are not at fault. The abilities of the children are exemplary and the parents have done outstanding job in raising the kids. This seems to be the attitude.

Parents live in denial that their children could be above average or average. They live in denial that they also need to put in some effort. They live in denial that the children probably are not paying attention in school. It is also possible the children are not really getting the attention from parents themselves. The child may need some special assistance - but no, that is not at all possible in the eyes of the parents.

When people live in such denial, they are postponing the in-evitable - that is the results that come out showing the true colours of the children & parents' efforts and abilities. The earlier people realize their own abilities and efforts, along with the children's abilities and efforts, the better they can shape the future. That is why it is said "Wise are those who understand themselves".

Improve on the child's strengths and bolster the weak points to make it stronger - that should be the goal and for that people have to get out of denial that the child has weaknesses and the child's real current capability is not assessed properly.

For a better future, we should be open to understand ourselves first & ensure the next generation is given a good chance for a bright future.

VRVD.

Education at home - with an anecdote

What is the role of education at home?

Now-a-days, many people think that education is done only in schools and colleges. Parents would love to just dispatch the children for this grand purpose of education at schools. Can the teachers / professors really complete the education of children? I think not.

Education starts at home, even before the child reaches age of attending school (which varies from 2.5 to 6 years, depending on the country in which the child is growing up). Children are mostly learning every minute that they are awake. Hence, education starts at home and continues with relatives (second most influence), friends, schools & colleges.

Recently during a discussion a parent was complaining that the school was not teaching maths properly because the boy could not do the specific portions as part of home-work. When asked whether the parent could not have taught him themselves, the retort was "Then the school will take credit for what I teach the child." Whoa! It is your child that needs to learn - if the specific method of teaching this particular aspect of Maths has not been grasped by child, don't you think the parent needs to add to it? For the sake of own child? God save the child! Or maybe the child will automatically at some point, by not depending on parents for learning!

Such episodes open our eyes as to how parents are viewing schools and education of their own children. In Tamil we could say "இப்படியும் சிலர்" (such people too exist).

VRVD

Hype of schools by the schools and parents

Here is the next attempt on one of our favorite subjects - ", the role of parents to children in first 5 years…" (discussed threadbare from my wife's ideas and experiences)

Parents pamper children during those first 5 years. Then they expect the school teachers and principal to introduce discipline, responsibility, respect, etc., while the kids already have prejudiced learning from parents, relatives and friends in their most amenable age – 0-5 years.

Next comes boasting on which school the children study in – it is X, Y or Z highly touted schools. They are hyped by parents and the school all the time.  Many of these schools pick the best of the lot and then do nothing much to improve them – they are already pretty good. Then they take the laurels of the students and attach it to themselves.

I think the creed should be “Ask not what the school’s name can do to help you, but ask what you can do to put your school’s name on the Education Map.”

We should encourage those schools that take any one - below average, average or above average and make them better students, better humans. That is more important for the future of India. Forget school name tags. Let teachers boost the creativity and dreams of the children rather than cut them by forcing them to do rote learning... India will automatically improve quickly in leaps and bounds.

VRVD